Moan for me like Helen Keller
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
