she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
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