why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Hippo gnu deer
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
