I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
