wake up i wanna do it froggy style
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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