I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
