sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
i believe in u and ur pee
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
