Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
