So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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