Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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