is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
