just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
