can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
