I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
