Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
