I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
