We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
