I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
