Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
