Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
