I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
