who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
