I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
