just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
