she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize