ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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