Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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