I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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