I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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