she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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