I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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