Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
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I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
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This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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