I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
