Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
