and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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