I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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