I hate your face
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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