Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
