I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
