She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
