My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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