I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Let's get the cat blown out
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
