You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
