all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
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These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
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I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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