so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
My life is pants optional.
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