im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
