margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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