i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
