Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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