I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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