Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
