worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
