and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
