i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
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I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
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It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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