The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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