Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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