it wasn't lemon gatorade
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
