once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
