Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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