I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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