Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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