He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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